tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-925288990167100425.post8086551910080380710..comments2023-04-23T09:49:34.867-06:00Comments on My Journey Through Anorexia: Guess I'm not ok afterallDawnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05886626878002819010noreply@blogger.comBlogger1125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-925288990167100425.post-60313132052439299722011-09-13T23:00:33.506-06:002011-09-13T23:00:33.506-06:00I imagine that was a very scary experience, you...I imagine that was a very scary experience, you're right about that! I think the most important thing here is to be super aware of your motives and underlying thoughts. Sometimes things just trigger us back into memories of a certain day/time, and our minds go to that dark place unintentionally. You said that you were not actively trying to run your car off the side of the road (which I thank you very much for), so I would suggest you just keep monitoring those motives and being aware of your intentions. Triggered memories are not always an indicator of present behaviors.<br /><br />The other night after I ate dinner, out of nowhere I just got this overwhelming urge to purge. (Urge to purge ... that's catchy. And totally dysfunctional.) Now let me just say this: That is something I have not done in a VERY long time. I was terrified that my brain took me to that place and that my body was so desperately pleading for me to get rid of that food. I just kept thinking, "I thought I had worked through that part of it! Where is this coming from?!" I had no real intention of purging (and I didn't do it). Something just triggered that voice in my head to start talking again, and it freaked me out. Not because I was even entertaining the thought of actually doing it, but because the voice still exisited at all. <br /><br />All this wordy mess is to say that I get it, I hear you, you're not alone, and you're not crazy. Keep talking about this, and keep asking yourself questions. (And perhaps stop messing with your medication? Just a thought.) You know I love you!Amyhttp://embracingimperfection.blogspot.comnoreply@blogger.com