child of God, wife, mother, recovering anorexic who longs to see the beauty in herself that she sees in the world around her

Tuesday, December 17, 2013

Lonely

I've been posting more on my other blog lately. This one still feels like an old friend though. I'm lonely. Very very lonely.

Anxiety has been really high recently and has been manifesting itself in social anxiety. My staff Christmas party, team meetings, the ladies Christmas tea and even just sitting through church have all been incredibly difficult. Even posting to Facebook feels vaguely uncomfortable and far too social.

I do love my job but I'm struggling to go. I don't want to leave my house. I feel comfortable with Hubby. I feel known. I feel less lonely with him. I just want the anxiety to go away. I want it to go away so that I can function without huge discomfort every time I leave my house.

And I'm still lonely.