Today I feel like I am "doing recovery" rather than recovering. I think you have to have experienced recovery in some form for that to fully make sense. I am tired. But I'm tired because I'm depressed not because I haven't gotten enough sleep.
Yesterday, once again, I begged God to heal me. I promised Him the world, just make this heaviness go away. PLEASE! Instead He filled my ride to work with songs about trusting God even through the pain, songs about how His love doesn't fail us even through the dark times, songs of reassurance but no songs of healing.
So once again, with a heavy heart, I am asked to trust what I cannot feel. And I do. And I will. Even if the heaviness never leaves, He is God and He is good.
I saw this on Facebook last week. I have to share it because it is true.
Yeah, I really am glad. I'm glad you're here still. I'm even glad I'm here still. Keep pressing on. Keep hanging on. Keep doing recovery even when you feel like you are doing recovery not recovering. Keep putting one foot in front of the other. Keep doing the next right thing. And next year we can all gather around each other and be glad that we are still here.