The text said fml. I acknowledged that I don't actually believe that. But it's how I feel right now.
I love the people in my life. I'd take them out of that equation of the text. I love things about my life. I love being wife to Hubby. I love being mom to my Littles. I love my job, even though today I was too overwhelmed to go to work and do my job.
So when I look at it logically, I really wouldn't say fml. I love my life. But I hate my emotions. I hate that with a life full of love, I still struggle to see hope. I hate that anxiety sometimes cripples me. I hate that depression sometimes makes me feel emotionally bankrupt.
Food is hard. Not my because of my body but because of my emotions. I want control. I want to feel the surge of euphoria that being hungry gives. But this time there is no euphoria only the empty darkness that usually comes when I've fallen too far.
I don't want to fall but I don't want to fight either. I just want to give up. I won't give up, I just want to. Hubby is keeping me accountable. He knows where I am and he's holding me up. I know this too shall pass. Until it does, I'm really grateful for those who hold my arms when I'm too tired to fight.