When feelings aren't truth but they feel like it

The text said fml. I acknowledged that I don't actually believe that.  But it's how I feel right now.

I love the people in my life. I'd take them out of that equation of the text.  I love things about my life.  I love being wife to Hubby. I love being mom to my Littles. I love my job,  even though today I was too overwhelmed to go to work and do my job.

So when I look at it logically, I really wouldn't say fml. I love my life.  But I hate my emotions.  I hate that with a life full of love,  I still struggle to see hope.  I hate that anxiety sometimes cripples me.  I hate that depression sometimes makes me feel emotionally bankrupt. 

Food is hard.  Not my because of my body but because of my emotions. I want control.  I want to feel the surge  of euphoria that being hungry gives.  But this time there is no euphoria only the empty darkness that usually comes when I've fallen too far.

I don't want to fall but I don't want to fight either.  I just want to give up.  I won't give up, I just want to.  Hubby is keeping me accountable.  He knows where I am and he's holding me up.  I know this too shall pass.  Until it does, I'm really grateful for those who hold my arms when I'm too tired to fight.