Friday, June 4, 2010
When I started this blog there were a few things that I totally didn't count on. I didn't count on some of it being so painful that I would have to constantly give myself back to the Father and be reminded that He is in control and He has a plan. I didn't count on getting writers block and wondering where my muse went. How could I possibly get writers block when I don't have to think of what to write about? It is just a story that I lived and am now retelling, shouldn't need inspiration and a muse right? WRONG! So I've taken a break. I'm ok, just tired and wondering why God has asked me to do this. I'm not falling into the depths of depression, despair and not eating. I'm just at a loss for words. I never realized, even though I argued for months with God to not write this, that it would take such an emotional toll when I finally agreed to. I think it's good though. I know He is working in my life. I know that things I thought were gone still need His divine healing touch. I thought I knew how deep this was when I began, I didn't. I thought I had it all figured out, I don't. I thought I was just retelling a story, turns out parts of it are reliving as well as retelling. It isn't nearly as matter of fact as I assumed it would be. *sigh* I guess nothing is as easy as one would like it to be and nothing worth having comes without work. This has definitely been work!