child of God, wife, mother, recovering anorexic who longs to see the beauty in herself that she sees in the world around her

Wednesday, July 10, 2013

Speed (up)dating

In the 5 minutes I have before I leave for work, I'm going to update. I have noticed some really healthy things going on in my brain.  I weigh the most that I have since before relapse.  Let's face it, I am back to pre-relapse weight.  In some areas that is very scary.  I feel like I'm one brownie away from being post-baby weight again but I know that is perception not reality.  I've heard things come out of my mouth like....

This summer I am working on accepting this new body.

I'm trying to find clothes to fit my body rather than make my body fit my clothes.

and the best one yet.....

Please don't edit my birthmark out of those pictures.   I need to be able to be beautiful just as God created me and I need to be ok with that "flaw" on my body.  

It isn't all easy-peasy.  There are days that the fact that my thighs are beginning to touch again really bothers me.  But as a whole, the healthy voice in my head is starting to get louder than the unhealthy voice which is, in my book, huge progress toward healing. 

That's all for now, must head to work.  Love you friends!


  1. Replies
    1. I miss you Holly! How are you sweet one?

    2. Very very well! in love, in a new home, being braver than i want to be and finding it so rewarding.