child of God, wife, mother, recovering anorexic who longs to see the beauty in herself that she sees in the world around her

Thursday, April 23, 2015

What NOT to Say

In case you ever need to know this, in case you don't already know this, I have some news. I have news of something you should never say to a recovering anorexic ANYONE. "Oh look at you having another donut." Don't say it in an office. Don't say it in front of other people. Don't say it in jest. JUST DON'T SAY IT!

I am grateful that I'm in a stable food place because a year ago those words would have spiraled me. They would have spiraled me whether said about me or said about someone else in my presence. They would have shamed me. This year they frustrate me but are not spiraling me.

Yes, I had a second donut that day. No, I won't allow myself to feel guilty that I had 2 donuts on my sons birthday. The words were not intended to be hurtful. They were intended in a "good for you, go get 'em" kind of way. She doesn't even know my history.

And THAT is why to not say food shaming words to ANYONE. You have no idea if the person you are talking about has had food difficulties. You have no idea if someone else who hears you talk has food issues.

I don't look like I battle an eating disorder, many of us don't. Please be cautious with your words. Even when they are well intentioned they can wound.

1 comment:

  1. I really feel you on this one! Even now, when people make certain comments to me it's still so hard sometimes. A couple weeks ago, I got a deli sandwhich from the cafeteria at work and I am obsessed with chips lately and was like "I want to get two small bags because I can't decide which one I want" and the lady that rang me up commented on my "two" bags of chips and then one of my coworkers in my office commented too and even though to them it was a harmless comment, I went from excited that I ignored my ed and bought both of them to feeling stupid, embarrassed, and ashamed. So much anxiety. I still ate my food but couldn't enjoy it because I felt like I did something wrong. I think people just don't think before they make comments but you are right that it effects people, because it does.