child of God, wife, mother, recovering anorexic who longs to see the beauty in herself that she sees in the world around her

Thursday, November 11, 2010


I had never thought of it like this.  I don't update often after I ask for prayer.  I was told this week by someone that she gets annoyed praying for people sometimes when she never hears any follow up about the person she prayed for.  It wasn't directed at me but it did inspire me to update here.  I am so very grateful for all the prayers that have been offered up on my behalf.  I can definitely feel them!  The day titled "trigger day" ended up to be an ok day after all.  I felt peace that I shouldn't have and was fully aware of and comforted by the Lord's presence. 

I don't feel as alone as I did.  I even called my pastor's wife this week when I started feeling alone just to ask her to pray for me.  Six months ago I wouldn't have asked for prayer, I would have isolated even more because I wouldn't have wanted to admit my weakness.  I would have been certain that I was alone in my battle and never asked for help.  I still hurt.  I still struggle.  I still have days that hungry feels better than full.  BUT I also have days that I know God is in control.  I have days when I feel peace.  I have days when full feels better than hungry.  The good days aren't constant but neither are the bad ones anymore.  It's baby steps but it is still steps. 

Thank you for going on this journey with me.  Thank you for praying for me.  Thank you that I'm not alone on my journey.  Thank you for showing me God's grace and love when I hurt.  And thank you for believing in God's power enough to not decide that I'm a lost cause.  Someday I will be on the other side forever and will see the beauty He created in me and it will be because someone like you lifted me before His throne when I couldn't make it there on my own, because someone like you loved me when I was unloveable, because someone like you interceded on my behalf.  Thank you now and thank you in advance for the amazing role you play in this journey!

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