child of God, wife, mother, recovering anorexic who longs to see the beauty in herself that she sees in the world around her

Monday, September 12, 2011

I think I'm ok?

My doctor doubled my medicine dosage.  I am tired ALL the time.  I go to sleep at 9:30 at night and still take 2 hour naps during the day.  I feel like I can barely function.  But I don't really feel depressed.  At least I don't think I do. 

I have had many people ask if I'm doing ok.  Apparently I have been more quiet than usual and it is being interpreted as depression.  I think I'm ok, I just don't know what to say so I haven't been talking.  This seems to be a big red flag, especially to my hubby. 

Tonight I'm drinking.  I wanted a glass of wine so I bought a bottle today.  The opening is too small for my stopper so I'm still drinking.  I don't really care either.  Maybe I'm not ok after all.  I mean, I'm more quiet than normal and I'm drinking more than usual as well.  But what is not ok?  I just feel like secluding.  Does that mean I'm not ok?

Lots on my mind tonight.  Sorry I've been too tired to blog lately.  And now I'm going back to MNF and watching my Broncos.  Hopefully I'll be back more often.  Hopefully I'll have some idea of what to say.  Hopefully this too shall pass.

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