The people I connect with the most are part of the "me too club". I think that is who most people connect with on a deeper level. I read blogs of people who say what they are feeling and are honest about it. I get bored and stop reading when it is simply to instruct me in all the ways I fall short. I connect with so many of you because you say, I had a great day as well as saying wow, today really sucked the life out of me. I connect with you because you read my stuff and you say, "Hey, me too. I know what that is like."
I want to be a me too person. I don't want to be someone who has it all figured out. I want to experience it with others. My pain, their pain, my joy, their joy, to walk side by side and experience life together. And yet at the same time, I'm a little afraid to say what's on my heart because I feel certain that no one will say to me, "yeah, me too".
I can lay it out here on my blog. I can say, hey world this is who I am. I've made some very dear friends through my blog. I just have a hard time taking that into real life. I love to hear others stories. I love to know what makes them tick. I love to see their lives in action, especially in the nitty gritty. But then when it comes to me, I don't want to show them the nitty gritty. I am afraid that in the real world that I won't find the kind of me too people that I have found here on my blog.
I love to hear the stories behind others tattoos. And yet I find myself at work being cautious about asking the significance because then I open myself up to someone asking the significance of my tattoo. I want to know why one woman at work picks her food apart and doesn't eat as much as the anyone else. But then I have to admit that I have noticed it and open myself up for her questions. Most people wouldn't notice that she does it. It is very subtle. But I notice, and if I notice that, why when no one else does?
I heard Lisa Terkheurst speak yesterday and she said something that I know and yet struggle with. God gave us emotions so that we can experience life not so we can run from it. I feel like I experience it here, where it is safe, where few actually know me. But I'm still afraid to experience life and emotions out there in the real world. I really do like the safety of my blog. What happens if I take the safety here and become a me too person out there?