child of God, wife, mother, recovering anorexic who longs to see the beauty in herself that she sees in the world around her

Tuesday, August 28, 2012

old verse, new perspective

As you know I have Psalm 45:11 tattooed on my shoulder, "The King is enthralled with your beauty".  It is a verse that has meant a lot to me in recovery.  Yesterday I read that same verse in a different version.  It said, "Let the King be enthralled with your beauty."

It went from a statement about how I am seen to a command of how I respond.  Let.  Three simple letters and yet I wonder how often I sabotage my own beauty.  How often do I let anyone, even the Lord, just enjoy my beauty without backhanded remarks about myself?


When others admire my beauty, I turn their words of compliment away.  Maybe I credit a good hair day or a cute outfit.  I never credit myself for being beautiful, but rather an accessory that has illusioned beauty for me. 


When my husband admires my beauty, I bow my head, my cheeks flush, and though I am most often convinced he sees me through Hubby colored glasses not the real me, I try to not knock down his compliments.  Even though I try, I still end up shaking my head, telling him he's wonderfully crazy.  Crazy to see the things he does, but wonderful that he does see them.

And yet here, in one of my favorite verses, I am asked to LET my beloved be enthralled with my beauty.  I don't really know how to do that, at least not yet.  I do though know that He is trying to break through to reach my heart and I need to let Him be enthralled with the beauty that He created.  The second part of the verse says "Honor him for he is your Lord."  I can't help but wonder if letting Jesus be enthralled with my beauty is the first step to honoring Him.  






2 comments:

  1. i like these thoughts, dawn.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Wow - what a beautiful post. Thank you for that. Good thoughts to ponder.

    ReplyDelete