child of God, wife, mother, recovering anorexic who longs to see the beauty in herself that she sees in the world around her

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

generational curses?

Hmmm, I saw my mom today.  She and my dad just went to a Christian conference and are both flying high still.  She mentioned how the Lord had revealed some generational curses to her.  She didn't go into a lot of detail but mentioned that her grandmother had 18 children and must have felt overwhelmed and that her mom had 5 children and felt overwhelmed.  Then she totally skipped over it and mentioned how often Satan attempted my life (I was misdiagnosed with menengitis as a baby and my parents told that I would likely die, I fell out of a moving car when I was 5, I had mystery illnesses that required lots of specialists, blood draws, test and other uncomfortable things just to be told no one knows what was wrong with me).  She doesn't even know the half of it when it comes to reasons I should be dead and God's grace decided otherwise.  So all in all I left her house confused.  Don't all mothers of young children sometimes feel overwhelmed?  How is that a generational curse?  And what did that have to do with the conversation about me living when I should have died?  I'm confused.  Generational curses is something I don't fully understand but my mom talks about often.  On one hand I think that many people use that fact that alcohol, abuse, poor choices are what they grew up with so the only example they have ever known as an excuse to not try to make better choices in their own lives.  This part of my brain doesn't want to believe in things like generational curses.  I mean, really, there is no law saying that I have to parent how I was parented or that I have to make the mistakes I saw my parents make.  But then I get confused again because what about when Jesus was being crucified and the Jews said that this sin, this man's blood, would be on their heads and the heads of their children and children's children?  That seems like a generational curse.  Every time my mom talks about generational curses I leave confused and have a headache.  What is a generational curse for real?  Is being overwhelmed by motherhood really a generational curse?  If so then it has been passed down each generation since Eve!  I think that it is a direct result of the fall of man.  None of us will ever parent perfectly and we all get overwhelmed at times.  That is a consequence for Adam and Eve's sin.  And how is the fact that I am alive but shouldn't be a generational curse?  Huh?  Did my grandmother's and their mothers struggle with depression, and eating disorders?  I want to be open to answers that comes directly from the Word because in all my years, this is the one topic that always makes my head hurt trying to understand it.  Are my kids doomed to make my mistakes unless I pray through and "break the curses" in our lives?

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