Wednesday, October 20, 2010
I have had a hard time over the last couple of weeks journaling or blogging. My emotions have been so up and down and it is hard to express your feelings when you don't really know what they are. My ups have been wonderful, I feel like me again. I had forgotten how much I actually like the real me, when she shows up. My downs have been equally extreme. Ok, not dwelling on death but really hurting. Socially, I feel very inept. For instance, I was doing awesome until I got to MOPS and then had to fight through my emotions to stay calm, not panic and put on a smile. I haven't called anyone, simply because I am not really sure what to say. I am grateful for Psalms. Reading from David is soothing to me. It is soothing because David's emotional swings are as abrupt and extreme as my own. I understand in one breath saying that God is faithful, wonderful, and always cares for me while in the next breath asking God where He went and how long I will hurt. It is a book that shows me that I am human not crazy! Well, I have to wrap it up to go see Carol. Not looking forward to it today. I choose to skip lunch.
Posted by Dawn at 2:23 PM