Or what if I told you the truth? The truth this exact moment is.....
- I'm up over 2 hrs past my hopeful bedtime and still not really tired
- my stomach is a feeling a bit empty right now
- I have no intentions of remedying the above problem tonight
- I have all evening been trying to think of ways to be "different" in my eating disorder. In other words, I wondered all night if it was possible to stop eating and not experience the emotional disaster that follows. I tried to figure out if it was possible to "defy the odds" and only lose inches and nothing else.
- I truly don't understand why God made our bodies to need food.
- I wish the above statement weren't true (that our bodies need food, that is!)
- I sweat again, and I don't really like it.
- I hate that my stomach makes horrifying sounds (growling) and my body produces gross liquid (sweat) again. Those are definitely NOT on my "pro" list of recovery!
- I think that someone I know has orthorexia. I also think that sometimes my anorexic symptoms sometimes can come close to orthorexic behaviors, even though it is still not an "official" eating disorder. I wish it were not the "socially acceptable" form of disease but considered for the disease that it is.
- although my medical chart says "anorexia nervosa" I have discovered that I actually am more of an EDNOS for the fact that in the midst of substantial weight loss I still had a period (they got much lighter and much shorter but they didn't stop completely).
- eating disorders are confusing and complicated and very full of intricate complexities and no one actually has a full out answer about them because each person is entirely different
- I am whining and moaning and tired of hearing myself so I am guessing you are too!
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