child of God, wife, mother, recovering anorexic who longs to see the beauty in herself that she sees in the world around her

Thursday, February 10, 2011

happy with me

I would be naive or an idiot if I did not know that my body will never be perfect.  Even if I maintain the "perfect" weight, I will still be able to pick myself apart as far as my appearance goes.  I will still see the acne on my face.  I will still see the stretch marks on my body.  My boobs will still look like I have carried and nursed 3 children.  So what is the remedy? 

The remedy is to be happy with me.  I'm still working on what that looks like as a lifestyle instead of a momentary glimpse.  As a momentary glimpse though, it means that I need to be ok with imperfection. So here is where I am working on perspective changes, when I look at my stomach and legs, I will see that God allowed my body to sustain life 3 times instead of seeing the scars of stretch marks and surgeries.  When I look at my face I will notice that I have beautiful eyes not flawed skin.  When I look at my hands I will notice how these hands have held my children and my husband and brought love, not that the polish on my nails is chipped nearly completely away.

I am learning to be happy with me, with who I am and how I look.  I may not be perfect but I can accept that I will never be the perfect that I desire.  I am still deeply loved and accepted, flaws and all.

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