delusional paranoia

I work at a college bookstore.  Being the nerdy type that I am, when we are slow I like to read text books.  I know, I know, I could stop right there and you would have had your daily laugh.  I mean really, who reads textbooks for classes they are not taking?  I do.  Usually psych books.  On any given day you could find me reading Abnormal Psychology or The Complete Textbook of Suicidology.  So given my lack of college degree, and my greatest bit of knowledge on the subject from a textbook I'm reading in my free time, I find it funny that I decided today to diagnose my mother with delusional paranoia.

Now I didn't tell her she is delusional.  And I didn't tell her that she is paranoid.  But I am telling you.  She watched 2 of my kids today so that I could take my middle one to the eye doctor.  When she was leaving she saw 2 books near the door.  The top one was a library copy of Julie Andrews' Home and the second was a borrowed copy of The Help. 

Wait, I think this story deserves some background.  My mom is a nanny.  Now honestly I don't know why this family still employs her.  Their son is in college now and their daughters turn 16 this fall and will be driving.  I think they just enjoy having my mom around so they find odd things for her to do to keep her.  She has been with them for 13 years. 

Ok, back to our regularly scheduled story.  So when my mom sees The Help she asked "Isn't there a movie out about this one?"  I confirmed.  Then she told me that her boss had asked if she had seen the movie or read the book.  My mom told me she doesn't know what boss is worried about with her, like they have some big secret or something that she might spill.

I must have cocked my head, because my mom continued to explain that she thinks the reason her boss mentioned it is because they are afraid my mom will go and tell people all about them.  Now first of all, they are awesome people and very, very good to my mom.  They are very kind people and while we all have things we prefer to be private, they do not have any obvious "baggage".  What could my mom possibly tell about them?  That they have ridiculous amounts of money but don't act like it?  That they are unbelievably kind and generous not only to my mom, but to everyone they meet?

I told my mom her boss had probably brought it up because it is a great book and has been on the bestseller list for quite some time.  My mom got the strangest look and then said, "Well, yeah, I suppose.  Maybe she had to read it for her book club and that is why she brought it up." 

So again, I am not a counselor or a doctor.  Nor do I play one on tv.  I have no training.  I just have a mom who is out there more often than not and an Abnormal Psychology textbook waiting for me when I arrive at work tonight.  And with the help of all of these things, I have decided to, privately, of course, diagnose my mom with delusional paranoia.  :)