child of God, wife, mother, recovering anorexic who longs to see the beauty in herself that she sees in the world around her

Sunday, August 7, 2011

my favorite day of the year

I feel like I am six because though I have always felt it, this year I admitted it.  Today is my favorite day of the year.  Today is my birthday!  I always hesitated to tell people it was my birthday.  I kinda have always felt embarrassed by how much I enjoy it.  It makes no sense.  I usually want to fade into the background and be just a little visible but on my birthday I want to shout it from the rooftops that it is a day that is important.

So for the first time ever, I have said it out loud.  Today is my birthday and August 6th is my favorite day of the entire year!  It was a good birthday too.  I started the morning with a note from my love, then a lovely picture message on my phone of a birthday card.  (grrrrr, I just tried to download pictures of both and for some reason my computer won't let me retrieve those pictures!)

I had a friend come visit and we went to Starbucks so I could use my birthday postcard for a freebie.  I treated myself to a quad shot vanilla latte, something I have never done but thoroughly enjoyed.  Another friend stopped by with what she thought was an early birthday gift only to be thrilled to realize she was dead on the day.  Her gift made me cry.

I suppose I should explain why it made me cry.  See, this calendar used to hang in her room after she and her husband split.  It was her serenity.  I commented on how beautiful it was when I was helping her move.  I got my wedding gown in Paris.  I went to the top of the Eiffel Tower.  I sat on the patio of a bistro with a glass of wine and watched the night lights of Paris come on.  Paris holds a special place in my heart.  Paris also holds a special place in her heart, but that is her story to tell, not mine.  I tried to protest the gift.
"No, this is your special lovey!"
"And now it is your special lovey!"
It was more than a gift.  It was a piece of her heart.

Sadly, I did have to make dinner tonight.  But on the upside, I was smart enough to buy thin crust chicken alfredo pizzas at Costco and specifically saved them for a night when I really needed a break from cooking dinner.  Pizza and a beer for dinner and then off to see the Smurfs with my family.  Cute movie, I enjoyed it but even more so enjoyed my kids laughter at the movie!

I finished off the night by using my treat receipt from Starbucks, pictures with my love (taken by my 8 year old, such a sweetheart!), and a ridiculous amount of birthday wishes on facebook.  I was aware of feeling down and at times very lonely today.  But it was still a beautiful way to turn 30-something and even though my feelings don't often feel it, today I realized that a lot of people really do care about me.  That counts for future encouragement in some way, I am sure!

I am so ridiculously in love with this man!

when your 8 yr old is the photographer and the cell phone is the camera, sometimes pictures turn out a bit blurry.   turning it black and white and editing only can help so much!  :)


  1. Well, it was still my birthday when I started writing this even if it isn't still my birthday when I posted it!

  2. You guys are SO CUTE!!! And so Colorado, haha :) Happy birthday! What a sweet gift from your friend, and what a sweet gift to yourself and your family to be around and keep trying to be healthy for another year!

  3. Thank you Sarah. I never thought about me being a gift, what a lovely way to view life!