I need to be in the car taking my son to school but I was just overcome by such powerful emotions that I had to take a second to breathe. First let me tell you that if swearing offends you, skip this post because I am going to write it as I just said it to myself. Last night my mom cornered me to talk about generational curses again. She started talking about shame and disgrace towards women. I started shutting down, smiling and nodding. This morning in the shower my mind replayed her saying that. And this rush of words came tumbling out of my mouth....
You have no idea what shame and disgrace is. Shame and disgrace is being violently fucked over and over as a child. Shame and disgrace is living in constant terror of someone who should be safe. Shame and disgrace is an asshole threatening you that he will tie you up naked on the swing set and leave you there if you don't comply with his disgusting demands. Shame and disgrace is taking a double portion, in front of a girl younger than I, to protect her from his hands. Don't talk to me about shame and disgrace.
I am shaking with rage. These emotions are almost overpowering. And all I can think is, "How DARE she talk to me like she thinks she understands when she doesn't even KNOW most of it!?!"
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