child of God, wife, mother, recovering anorexic who longs to see the beauty in herself that she sees in the world around her

Thursday, December 30, 2010

should, need to, and survive

I haven't blogged for a bit.  I could say that it was because of the holidays, which would be partially true.  I could say it was because hubby has been on graveyard shifts for the past 3 weeks, which again would be partially true.  I could even say that my kids have had a heck of a time going to bed with daddy gone and bedtime has taken hours every night, which, once again, would be partially true.  Or I could just tell you the truth that I am in survival mode and don't really feel much like exposing my heart right now.  I am eating dinner tonight at the request of should's and need to's and love for my husband.  I have however passed the point of caring about dinner.  Should have eaten before date night, I suppose, when I still wanted to eat.  Food is a daily decision for me.  I liked the days when it came naturally better.  Making a concentrated effort to eat regularly is getting old.  I guess maybe should's aren't always a bad thing; after all, they have me eating.......or at least trying.

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