child of God, wife, mother, recovering anorexic who longs to see the beauty in herself that she sees in the world around her

Tuesday, July 5, 2011

4th of July

It has been a long day full of emotional highs and lows.  I decided to have some wine tonight.  Half a glass has now turned into more than half a bottle.  I'm a little off, I can feel the alcohol. That said, have mercy on me if I ramble or have tons of typos, I've had a bit to drink tonight. So tonight I am faced with a choice.  As I said, there have been lots of emotional swings today.  So I am going to spend the last part of my evening thinking about my favorite part of today instead of the lows and loneliness that have periodically plagued my day. 

FiReWoRkS! We lucked out in that the fireworks for our city are in the park directly across the street from my house.  We sit in our driveway every year to watch them every year.  The past years have been rainy and we watched them from my in-laws front window.  This year was hot and perfect for 4th of July.  My sister-in-law and her husband and my two sweet nieces joined us for the first time this year.  My boys were so excited to have their cousins over for fireworks.  The fireworks were lovely this year but even better were the faces of 5 little ones ages 2-8.  Their faces lit up.  I have a picture of my middle one during the grand finale that I wish I could download for you to see.  He had the biggest smile I have ever seen on him.  And the girls.  Oh my goodness, I could have just scooped them up and covered them in kisses for how adorable they were!  It was an honor to be able to share in their very first of many fireworks experiences.  It may have been a day with lots of loneliness and struggles but it was also a day of loving that I married into an amazing family. 

My hubby told me he loves me tonight before bed (as he always does).  I asked why.  He said he loves my heart and that I am a great mom and that I am a great wife.  I think he may be love blind but that is ok, I'll take it!  I'm still a bit lonely but I am going to focus on love not on lonely tonight. 

Btw, wine makes me smile in a goofy way.


  1. Hope today was amazinger perfecter ...which would mean lunch!
    So happy for you and pleeze stay accountable. Or honest! (0:

  2. Wine makes me ridiculously silly...or sleepy. I can never predict which will happen. I love the way you described the fireworks!! That must have been so joyful to see the smiles on your children's and nieces' faces. D and I were house sitting for a house on the water, so we saw fireworks launched from a boat over the water! It was great.

    I'm so glad your first day on the job went well! Eat your meal next time and it will go even better ;)