So I went to the doctor today for my physical. Um, the scale read 1/2 lb less than last time but the new nurse rounds up instead of down so the chart says it is the same. How in the heck have I had diarrhea for the last week (sorry for tmi) and barely eaten anything the past couple of days and the scale says the same freakin thing it did last time I went in??????? And why in the world would ANYONE round the numbers UP when weighing someone????? My doctor didn't actually bring up food this time around. She asked if I wanted to talk about anything else and like a good little liar, I told her no that I'm fine. She brought up doing a bone density scan but I just had one last August that was ok so we didn't do it today. I don't think insurance would pay for 2 in one year anyway.
And then there was the stupid metabolic testing and fitness testing. The guy typed in my height at an inch below what I actually am. I mentally completely freaked out!!!!!!!!! Seriously, that inch means a different way my body metabolizes, a different set of weight guidelines, and who knows what else. For my body, that inch shorter at the same weight looks so much fatter in my mind. I know, crazy, right? That paper inch may not change how I look but it changes how I felt about myself. I informed him, he remeasured me and corrected it. Whew! I did well at the squats, pushups and crunches. That wasn't a big deal. But then the waist to hip ratio? Oh yeah, I nearly cried. Thankfully he wasn't dumb enough to tell me the numbers he measured. But I had to have a measuring tape around my stomach, and it was a man measuring/touching me. He wasn't weird or inappropriate, its just that a guy was touching me and measuring me. I don't want to be measured. I don't want to know that my body exists in numbers. And I don't want a member of the opposite sex knowing those numbers. Oh and my body fat percentage was not at all happy news to me. Much higher than I like.
I absolutely hate what I see in the mirror right now. The closing my eyes in the shower trick hasn't kept working. I am desperately trying to remember what it was I felt/knew last week when I discovered it.