Friday, June 24, 2011
I have a question for you guys that I have been meaning to ask but today the need to ask seems suffocating. I love my friends. Earlier this week I got together with 5 other ladies to celebrate the impending birth of one of my friends 3rd baby (also known as a baby shower ;-) ). I love these gals. They are wonderful and yet I still felt socially awkward and inept. I feel so out of place anytime I am with a group of people. One on one, I'm great, in a group, I feel so out of place. I know that is common with eating disorders, to isolate. I'm reading a thousand other blogs from others who deal with eating disorders who talk about how difficult it is to be around friends. What I want to know is does that ever go away? And does everybody feel like that? I felt it long before I struggled with anorexia. I remember feeling that way in elementary school, awkward in social settings. I have always attributed my early social anxiety to the abuse I went through as a child but what about now? Is this my eating disorder that makes me uncomfortable. I sat at the table with the other 5 and wondered if any of them felt like they didn't really belong. Was it just me? Do normal, not traumatized, people feel like they don't really fit in too? I want to hear it from all the sides. Tell me how ed has effected your social life. Tell me how being "normal" has effected your social life. Tell me that other people are insecure and timid while pretending that they have it all together. Please tell me I'm not the only social freak!