child of God, wife, mother, recovering anorexic who longs to see the beauty in herself that she sees in the world around her

Friday, January 7, 2011

I have lost my cooking skills, hopefully not permanently!

3 post, 1 day.  Must have been a rough one, huh?  After all, writing is processing for me.  With no desire to cook dinner tonight but knowledge that my family must eat dinner and we are too broke to buy pizza, I sent my dear friend a text.  "It's family night so I can't exactly need your presence but I could use a cyber hug. I so don't want to make dinner bc I so don't want to eat it."  Her "Hugs!" message back was exactly what I needed.  I can do this.  I can make my family dinner and there is someone on my side rooting for me to succeed.  I start on dinner but forgot to turn down the burner heat when I should have and so dinner was rather overcooked.  The pasta was gummy and the chicken was tough.  Hmm, not so tasty.  I looked at my husband and cried.  Now what?  The kids are still hungry and we are still too broke to order a pizza.  He asked about eggs, nope I made those this morning for MOPS.  Sandwiches?  Well I could do Pb&J or grilled cheese.  He says grilled cheese. 

While getting out the pan for grilled cheese, my 3 yr old decided to try to pour his own apple juice from a nearly full gallon container.  Any guesses?  Yep, all over the floor and table and chair and well you get it.  I simply sat down on my kitchen floor and stared at my pans.  I didn't cry, I just shook my head and then buried it in my knees and wrapped my arms around my legs.  I finally got up off the floor and started on sandwiches.  I have a trick burner on my stove and unfortunately, it is the most convenient burner to use so I still use it.  Sometimes, however, when you turn the burner on, it doesn't heat up and you have to turn it off and then back on again.  Tonight I stepped away for a few minutes only to return and see the sandwiches were NOT cooking, the burner never heated up. 

I got the burner fixed and started the sandwiches. My husband was talking with my oldest son about his attitude and I left to go join the conversation.  I came out, flipped the sandwiches, they looked perfect.  I went back in and was explaining the "front side and back side of the circle"  (my MOPS friends will understand and I'll explain another time to anyone else who wants to know).  The good news?  My son totally got it and his attitude was a complete 180 after that.  The bad news?  Suddenly I could smell grilled cheese.  I race to the kitchen and the previously perfect sandwiches were now black on the bottoms.  Oh no!  Hubby asks how bad.  I recall a statement from my childhood, "Is it true that when it's brown it's cookin and when it's black it's done?"  Then I finally started to cry.  I was DONE.

My super awesome hubby came to the rescue.  He came in and scraped the burned parts off of the sandwiches and informed me that they may not be pretty but they are still edible.  He so took care of me.  I needed that because I was about to pull out the Apple Jacks for the kids and call it good.  My oldest informed me that if I had been playing Cook or Be Cooked tonight, I would have been cooked twice in a row.  Thanks, Son. 

And my goofy or random observations for the evening.  I have a cholesterol test tomorrow morning and I had cheese and butter for dinner.  That's healthy!  I couldn't eat much of my sandwich, less than half and hubby asked me to eat more.  I held his hand, let a few tears slip and then put my plate where he couldn't see it as we finished family movie night without me finishing my food.  The movie "Despicable Me" was adorable and just the cure I needed for a blue evening.  Somehow I have only 3 "followers" and almost no comments but have 44 page hits in the last week since I started the hit counter.  I'm not thinking you 3 people have logged on 44 times in just over a week!  Not entirely sure why that thought hit me, as I said, my random or goofy observations.  And with all of that said, I am now going to flee the temptation to act out destructively by going and taking a hot bubble bath.  If you see me on the computer in the next hour, feel free to remind me that I'm supposed to be taking care of me not surfing the web!  Good night all.


  1. love you! :) Yes, I read your blog all the time you silly girl. But, you knew that already.

  2. Yes, my dear, but you are one of my 3 "followers". And thanks, I love you too!