child of God, wife, mother, recovering anorexic who longs to see the beauty in herself that she sees in the world around her

Thursday, May 19, 2011

old habits die hard

well, they do.  Now that I am through my insanely crazy eating, known to professionals as the binge cycle, I am now having to concentrate on my food again.  It sucks.  No, really, it SUCKS!  No breakfast is coming way to easily to me again.  Today lunch was at the requirement of hubby who suddenly realized I hadn't eaten yet.  I realize how easy it is to slip back into old habits. 

My brain still argues about food.  I've been ignoring it and eating (mostly).  I just have to think about eating right now.  Every time my mind attacks me for my food, I remind myself that I want to be healthy more than I want to give in.  Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't but I'm still fighting. 

Fighting to keep my new habits in place long enough for them to become old habits.  I just wish it would be quick, or at least quicker, that's all.

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