Title pun both intended and not :)
We are getting a new roof today. Yay! And holy crap, I'm sitting here trying to figure out how to cope. They delivered shingles yesterday and the noise was loud but bearable. I thought I was going to be ok for today. Well, I was wrong.
The anxiety hit full force when the workmen arrived, not when they started working, when they arrived. I realized that it terrifies me to have this many strange men near my "space". I feel claustrophobic. I feel unsafe (as in not safe not as in unstable). I feel like I have to run.
Seeing ladders near my bedroom window and men in my back yard had me closing my eyes and trying to remember how to breathe. And then the noise started. At first I was ok. Now I'm blogging to try to keep my mind focused and to not panic.
The lights in my house have flickered a few times. I feel like my roof will fall in. I feel like my lungs are about to collapse. I'm so very grateful that my dear friend needs help painting today. I am so glad to be able to leave my house for a while. I'm trying to kill some time to not arrive on her doorstep before she wakes up. I might take my kids to McDonald's just to be able to get out now.
I feel crazy right now. Most people probably do not have panic attacks from getting a new roof. Writing right now is the thing that is keeping my breathing normal and my mind semi-occupied. I don't like having people around my house. And the noise is exacerbating the anxiety already going on in my body.