child of God, wife, mother, recovering anorexic who longs to see the beauty in herself that she sees in the world around her

Friday, June 15, 2012

anxiety through the roof

Title pun both intended and not :)

We are getting a new roof today.  Yay!  And holy crap, I'm sitting here trying to figure out how to cope.  They delivered shingles yesterday and the noise was loud but bearable.  I thought I was going to be ok for today.  Well, I was wrong.

The anxiety hit full force when the workmen arrived, not when they started working, when they arrived.  I realized that it terrifies me to have this many strange men near my "space".  I feel claustrophobic.  I feel unsafe (as in not safe not as in unstable).  I feel like I have to run.

Seeing ladders near my bedroom window and men in my back yard had me closing my eyes and trying to remember how to breathe.  And then the noise started.  At first I was ok.  Now I'm blogging to try to keep my mind focused and to not panic.

The lights in my house have flickered a few times.  I feel like my roof will fall in.  I feel like my lungs are about to collapse.  I'm so very grateful that my dear friend needs help painting today.  I am so glad to be able to leave my house for a while.  I'm trying to kill some time to not arrive on her doorstep before she wakes up.  I might take my kids to McDonald's just to be able to get out now.

I feel crazy right now.  Most people probably do not have panic attacks from getting a new roof.  Writing right now is the thing that is keeping my breathing normal and my mind semi-occupied.  I don't like having people around my house.  And the noise is exacerbating the anxiety already going on in my body. 


  1. i hope things are going a little better. i used to get anxiety attacks and panic attacks often and so i know how it feels and it's not pleasant at all :(

    i hope you are able to get out of the house and release some of that. that unsafe feeling is a scary one but just try to keep reminding yourself you that ARE safe. you ARE okay. and i don't know if it will help or not but try to not be alone and try to be near people or a person as much as you can as to not feel so overwelmed by the feelings.

    thinking of you waaaay out here in Utah ; )

  2. I'm new to your blog and just wanted to say hi! :-)
    I can relate to the anxiety... Maybe you could try to look at the workmen as people who actually try to make your house safer and not as people who invade?
    As Jenn said, try to not be alone, I hope the roof will be fixed soon...

    1. Thanks for stopping by. Life is easier today. The roof is fixed, my husband is off work and we're heading to the mountains for the day to celebrate fathers day. Much less to be anxious about!

  3. Do not panic, Dawn. I’m sure your roof replacement will be over soon, and you will feel more relieved with a new roof above your bed. It is pretty normal to feel invaded when strangers are in your territory. Just maintain a mindset that they there to help you make your home safer and more secure.

  4. Sorry to hear about your panic attacks whenever there are unfamiliar people near you personal space. Maybe, when you get to fix your roof again, getting a reputable roofing contractor would be the best thing to do. Knowing how well and professionally they do their job can help you have a mindset that they are not there to bother you, but actually repair the roof. Hope my advice can help.

  5. Why are you having a panic attack over getting a new roof? You should feel excited rather than be anxious. I’m sure the workmen didn’t stay that long on your space. Hey, at least they’re helping out to make your space a lot safer, right?

    -Kip Whitehead