child of God, wife, mother, recovering anorexic who longs to see the beauty in herself that she sees in the world around her

Thursday, June 14, 2012

tired ramblings about work and bbq

It isn't a word challenge, it is just me.  I'm tired.  I've been tired, really tired.  Like triple shot latte on the way to work this morning tired. I should go to bed,  and I will go to bed but this first.

Work/food balance is getting easier.  But not always.  The board of directors for my work is in town this week.  They catered in lunch for us today, a mandatory lunch.  It was delicious.  It was terrifying.  They ordered from my favorite bbq restaurant.  And yet it was difficult.  Everything was meat.  Ribs, brisket, chicken, pork, another tray of ribs.  I'm not going to lie, the thought did cross my mind a few times, "All of this food and there isn't a salad to be found anywhere?" 

I even thought a few times, "I can't do this."  But do you want to know what?  I did it.  I didn't cry.  I didn't have to leave the room.  I didn't have a panic attack.  I survived eating lunch with a group of people and it wasn't the worst thing I've ever had to do!

I have so many thoughts and my head keeps bobbing like I'm about to doze off.  I'm too tired to even convey my thoughts coherently.  But I wanted you to know, I'm hanging in there at work.  I've even started to feel like I belong there and I have even begun to love the job and many of the people.

1 comment:

  1. sooooo many "yays and yippees!" for you right now! this is so great! ; ) proud of you, and it's these steps forward that make the ones in the future a little bit easier ; )