child of God, wife, mother, recovering anorexic who longs to see the beauty in herself that she sees in the world around her

Friday, June 22, 2012


I remember the day I laughed.  It had been months.  The relationship with the boy who I loved had ended and so had I.  I had no idea who I was if I wasn't the woman loving him.  The ache in my soul was so incredibly deep.  I was going through the motions and nothing more.  I was trying to convince myself that I had never loved him.  I was trying to do whatever it took to survive the pain.

I had just bought my first car from a dealership where a family friend worked and my air conditioning stopped working about a week after I got the car.  Even though I had bought an old car with no warranty, our friend said he would help me out if I brought the car in.  I stood there in the dealership while they were working on my car and this friend made a joke.

I smiled.  And then I chuckled.  And then I full out laughed.  It felt so good to smile again.  As I laughed I realized I couldn't remember the last time I had laughed.  I laughed more than the joke was really funny but it just felt so amazing to laugh.  By the time I got in my car I had laughed until my sides and face hurt.  I laughed until I cried.

I still sometime get so busy doing life that I forget to enjoy it.  I still sometimes forget to laugh.  I am so grateful for my children in this area.  They remind me often the joys of laughing and the healing it brings to my soul.  They say the silliest things and I cannot help but laugh.  I love the mornings when I wake up to the sound of brothers playing and LAUGHING together. 

Their laughter brings me comfort as well.  Knowing that my children know how to laugh, that they enjoy the lives they have, that they are happy and safe brings a smile to my face.  The sound of their laughter often brings out my own laughter.  I never again want to be the girl who forgot how to laugh so now I practice often :)

No comments:

Post a Comment