Thursday, June 14, 2012
I can't decide if I despise crowds or kinda like them. I love that it is easy to get lost in a crowd. No one is noticing me. I can be invisible. I can be no one.
I also despise crowds. I hate feeling claustrophobic in a throng of people. I am a little afraid of crowds. Actually, I am afraid of new situations but especially when those situations involve a lot of people.
Last summer I had the privilege of being in the "pit" at two different concerts. I'm not going to lie it was terrifyingly awesome. I was afraid at first that I would get crushed. But I also felt a rush like I've never felt before. I stood up for myself. I pushed the drunk guy who kept standing on my foot. I even told him after the concert, when he tried to make small talk with me and my friend that I didn't enjoy being near him during the concert because he was rude. Whaaaaaat? I said that to someone?
I still am not entirely sure how I feel about crowds, but I'm not as petrified of them as I used to be. Now I find myself people watching when in a crowd. I think I am more amazed than afraid now because I see that there are a lot of people, who are just like I used to be, a lot of people who are hurt and angry. There are a lot of people who want to be invisible and try to do so by getting lost in a crowd.